Come and Gone

Well, Christmas 2009 is over. It was a very depressing season this year. My mother is dying, she only has days left. She's been talking to Jesus at night when she is alone, my brother has a monitor in her room and listens in, just in case she needs help. She has asked Jesus to come and take her home. She's ready. It's sad, so sad and I didn't think it would hurt this bad because of our lack of a mother/daughter relationship, but it does hurt. Bran, you were right.
Anyway, other reasons for depression...Phil not working, our finances or lack of them, my children living so far from me or me from them, which ever way you want to look at it. Just too much to deal with!.....

Thanksgiving

It was different. It was a time to be thankful, yes, but it was also the beginning of saying goodbye to mom. She is dying with lung cancer and this was probably her last time to eat turkey and dressing. So, I packed up everything and hauled it to her house and spent the day with her. She was able to enjoy this meal, which I'm thankful for. She's so frail, can't even bathe herself. The hard part for her is giving up her independence. She has been alone for so long so I'm sure she is finding it hard to have my brother and his wife living with her. I'm very thankful they are willing to do this because I know I could not.
My son was able to visit for a couple of days. Phil drove down to MO to pick him up. Bless his heart, he drove all day and all night just to get our boy home, then turned around and drove him back to MO, then home and even worked in some repairs that Brandon needed at his home. We had a good time. Brandon got his Christmas present early since he will most likely be unavailable due to work constraints on the 25th. He took a picture of us eating at a restaurant with his new "toy". All he wanted was a new phone so we got him a Droid from Verizon. He loves it. The pic he took is above.
The only thing that could have made the time sweeter would have been to have my daughter and her hubby with us.

Thanksgiving

There are so many things I'm thankful for but for the record, here's the LIST.

My personal Savior, Jesus Christ
My wonderful husband and the love we have for each other
My delightful daughter
My fantastic son
My funny son-in-love
My 3 furry little Cocker Spaniels
My friends included are all my "cyber" friends
My job, even though at times it's a source of stress in my life (I guess some stress is ok)
My house, even if it isn't the Taj Mahal
The tangible "things" in my life like computers, appliances, furniture & clothing otherwise known as "creature comforts"
There are so many other things to be thankful for but before I forget, I need to take the My away from each item. The reason, they aren't really mine, they are on loan to me from my heavenly Father and I never, ever take that fact for granted. One MAJOR reason to be Thankful

A Dreary Friday

And I'm fighting to stay awake! I think winter has arrived in Ohio early. It's cold, wet and very disagreeable outside. What makes matters worse I have to get groceries tonight. Ugh! That is one shopping expedition I do not like, not that I like shopping period. I would love to just take care of all my needs on-line. No traffic, no rude people, just waiting for the delivery truck.

IT'S FRIDAY!!!!!!!!!!!

I didn't think I was gonna make it thru the whole week, but I did and now to head for home. I'm so glad this week is over!

Disappointment

I just don't understand how it can happen. How can a person be one way most of the years of their life then suddenly do a 90 degree change. Their beliefs in what is right and wrong, their faith, the people they associate with...all changed...and not for the better! I realize that I tend to go through life with blinders on, refusing to see the bad in people, but when it is blatantly shoved in my face how am I supposed to react!? The only word that I can associate with any of it is disappointment. There are other words like, disillusionment, displeasure, distress, frustration, regret, failure, defeat and on it goes. I'm not saying the person is a failure but that I must have failed them in some way. Does it mean I don't care, absolutely not! Maybe I care too much!
I just can't let my life be driven or defined by what this one person is doing with their life. I can't turn my back on them but I can distance myself and in doing so it is quite literally breaking my heart.
If this person reads this post and understands who I'm speaking of, take heart, you're still loved but the chasm that separates us is getting wider and deeper and I'm at a loss as to what to do about it.

Sign of the Times

Many of you who know me probably already know about this but I just wanted to vent here on my blog.

Friday afternoon between 1:30PM and 2:00PM my daughter and son-in-law's house was burglarized! The thieves took their big screen TV and a camera. They even went so far as to take the paperwork for the TV. They also did quite a bit of damage to the entry door that they used and traumatized my grand-doggie!

Despite all of that my son-in-law posted in facebook that they may have been able to steal their material things but they could not steal the Joy they have in the Lord! What faith! When I read that I wanted to shout! The Joy of the Lord is their strength!

Nothing New

No new job for Phil but at least I'm still employed. For how long, no one knows...we take one day at a time.
On a good note (I guess) our legal battles are just about to start so we should be through with all of that in a few weeks. I spoke with our attorney and the wheels will be set in motion next week. I'm so ready for it to be all over and get on with my life.
I haven't been in much of a mood to create anything. I've got so many projects started but just can't seem to find the energy or thought process to complete any one of them. I have a new blog design started, a new camera strap, several layouts but everytime I go to work on them I wind up shutting everything down. I just sit and stare at each item like it's foreign to me. Guess I need some "Happy" pills!
I haven't been doing so great with my diet either and that has me bummed in a big way. In fact, in a step in the right direction, I'm going to check on on-line calorie counters as soon as I finish this.
So, if anyone reads this, say a prayer for Phil and me (and of course our 3 fur babies)

Interesting Times?

If I hear one more person say we are living in exciting or interesting times I'm gonna scream!
The economy is on a downward spiral, the jobless rate is climbing, families are losing their homes and worse each other! I don't know about the rest of you but I'm ready for it ALL to end! Am I suicidal? No, I'm just looking for a better place and I know in my heart of hearts that it exists!
Phil has not found a job and things are looking very bleak at work. We have layed off over 12 people and are getting ready to cut production hours! Everyone is snapping at each other. I just hate it! We have less employees working here now than we did when I first started working here over 7 years ago.
Everyone is looking to our politcians for an answer, which is not the answer, they are the greediest of the greedy and yes, I count our current president right there with all of them. Politics and politicians can't save anything or anyone!

Digi Scraps Drive In

I've been looking for a new group since the closing of Digital Design Den and thanks to Kim I think I've found it. Most of my good friends of the Den are there plus there are new people to get to know! I love the look and feel of this place. Stop by and check it out!

To All My Online Friends

I just want to thank you for all of your words of encouragement! Sandy, I know this doesn't define who I am. I just worry about the age factor and the lack of jobs. We aren't spring chickens so it will be hard for Phil to find something. I am trying to be hopeful that maybe this is a way to open up the possibility of moving closer to one of my kids. We do have an appointment with an attorney next week to discuss our finances. Please continue to keep us in your prayers, I don't want to make any decisions without God being involved.

It's Over for Phil

All these weeks of ups and downs and now it's finally over. Phil has joined the ranks of all the other unemployed in this country and the world for that matter. I'm sure he will find something and in the mean time I at least still have a job, it's just going to be hard to go to that place knowing what I know and feeling the way I do. I know the Lord will provide but Dusty has been sick again. We had to make a run to the vet again this past weekend. He just can't seem to get rid of this bacteria in his tummy!
We will be making some major life changes in the next few weeks including filing bankruptcy, we just have no other choice. I don't make enough to pay all the bills. If we lose everything but each other and the dogs we'll be fine. In fact, I'm looking at it as a possible opportunity to move closer to my kids!
If you read this, please keep us in your prayers.

They're Baaacccckkkkk

And I'm so happy! The Digital Design Den opened the store back up. I had to do some shopping last night! Sandy, Robyn and the rest of the gang have done a beautiful job on some new kits! I can hardly wait to do some new pages!

Sadie the Princess

The last couple of weeks Sadie has been sneaking upstairs after we leave for work, going into our room and sacking out on our king size bed. We live in a "gated" house. There is a gate in the doorway between the kitchen and living room, between the front and back of the house and on the stairway. The gate on the stairway doesn't fit quite right and Sadie can make it lean towards the landing. Then she proceeds to climb the gate. The problem is, once she gets up there she can't come back down. I wish you could see her when we get home and she is caught on the landing! I'm going to figure out a way to set up the video cam to record her doing this. I can just see her all curled up on my pillow, it's obvious that is where she curls up cause she makes sure the covers are arranged just right. Hopefully I can get the video!

Punkin and obedience

Punkin has always been a sassy little girl but since Sadie came to live with us she has gotten worse so with that said, she has begun intensive reprogramming obedience training. While we are at home she is always on a leash so she can be instantly corrected and/or praised. Right now she is laying on the love seat clear at the other end from me with a leash on. Every once in awhile she will cast me this dirty look and sigh. She just hates it when I give Sadie and Dusty attention. I'm not into reward training for this type of behavior. I'm using my vet's suggestion of the leash so that I can always have her under control. You would have thought I was trying to kill her when I put her leash on her but boy oh boy did she ever straighten up!

Dusty

Nita had asked for an update on Dusty. I'm glad to say, he is doing very well! We made a trip to the vet last weekend for Sadie's annual checkup and we took Punkin and Dusty along. The vet was very pleased with the health of all of them. I just hope we don't have too many more of those visits. Just for little Sadie it was almost $200! They're worth every cent!

May Day

Please tell me where has the last 4 months gone?!!! I can hardly believe it's May 1st! I just read the best news in the world to me right now over at my friend, Robyn's blog. Digital Design Den is reopening! Yipeeeee! I was pretty bummed out when Sandy had to close down in March and I just haven't found another site I like as well as I did the Den. Whatever capacity Sandy and the other designers come back with they can count me in as a loyal follower!

Emotions

I feel like I have been on a long roller coaster ride and NOT enjoying it. If you knew me you would know I love roller coasters but not emotional ones. It started Friday evening, we received some devastating news from our son and I had a disagreement with my mother (using the term "mother" here loosely. Saturday was a good day, even though I had little sleep. All three fur-babies were bathed and groomed and I finished in record time, starting at 7am and finishing up by 2PM and that included a trip to the store to get a new clipper blade. Got a bunch of other stuff done too. Sunday was pleasant, did some spring cleaning and hung all my bed-clothes out on the laundry line, my room smelled so good last night but again I didn't sleep well. Today at work (yes, we are both still employed, knock on wood and thank the Lord) it was just plain stressful. There are too many people making too many errors and it is costing the company money and I worry for the bosses because whatever effect this has on the company it will eventually affect us.
Thanks for reading (listening), getting all this stuff off my chest helps.

5 days of work

Bedroom 95% Finished

and my bender is completely out of commission! I still have the trim to do in the master bedroom. I'm so pleased with the new color. It's called Awesome Violet.
The trim is/will be a very pale gray. My accessories are navy blue, hunter green and of all things a touch of turquoise. It all works really well together. I'll take pictures in a day or two. That is if I can ever climb the stairs again!

A Painting I Will Go

Won't be around much this weekend. We are painting the master bedroom and family room/Phil's junk room. He will be cleaning that mess up and we will be arguing I'm sure, cause my idea of clean and his idea of clean are two different animals! Boy am I dreading this.

Sketch 1

I'm going to try my hand at doing sketches. Each one will only be available for 7 days as I can't afford any thing for downloads except yousendit. If you don't get a chance to download let me know.

Download link here

Dusty

This has been a bad week for Dusty. Tuesday, he started having problems going potty. There was blood everywhere when we got home Tuesday. I immediately called our vet and she met us after hours at her office which is an hour drive for us. It appears Dusty is picking up on our distress over our possible job loss because he was suffering with colitis! Poor little guy! He has been on a special diet and lot's of meds. The scary part, what happens when I can no longer afford to take him to the doctor, or for that matter, Punkin and Sadie too. I just pray they stay healthy, us too!

Phil and I have been plastering today and am I ever exhausted. Next weekend we will be painting, that is if I can figure out what color I want in my bedroom. I'm thinking lavender but I'm not sure. Got to get this indoor stuff done so that when the weather gets better we can hit the yard!

New header

I wasn't really in the right frame of mind to do this but ....
above is the outcome. It has the same puppy pics but I used some different papers and elements from Robyn Littlejohn's Cottage Garden kit. I think this works well with the background items I chose from her kit.

Photos from Above

Where to Start

Well, I bit the bullet and ordered business cards for my new venture. I'm going to start, or more to the point, try to start earning some extra money with my camera doing pet photography. I really have no idea where to begin, other than the business cards so if anyone has any pointers please drop me a comment. I have most of the camera equipment; ie: lenses, lighting a simple back drop. Maybe as time goes on I will invest in some more stuff but right now my focus is just on taking pictures and earning a little bit of money.

Statistics

Isn't life so unfair. You work your whole life to own a home and have a few nice things only to have everything ripped from you by the loss of income due to a stale economy. Why do we do this to ourselves? I'm sure greed has much to do with it, and yes, I'm guilty and now I'll be reaping my just rewards by losing my home and possessions and now I learn that friends are going through much the same thing. Yeah, we can find jobs (maybe, our age is against us) but what kind of a pay cut will we experience. In my case it will be huge because I am very well compensated for which I'm very thankful but I have been priced right out of the job market. My poor hubby is experiencing so much self doubt and depression and his faith is faltering and that worries me more than anything. He never has been strong in the faith dept anyway and now he's facing all this loss for the second time in his life and wonders where God is in all of this. I wish I had answers for him but all I can do is lift him up to the Lord and try to be strong for him. I just don't know how long I can hold up being the strong one, I'm almost at the breaking point the way it is.
My friends, you know who you are, I hope all goes better for you and yours and I will be remembering your cares and worries in prayer.

The End

This has been a horrible week. Phil and I both learned that unless the economy improves within the next 45 days we will both be jobless. Like so many Americans, we are up to our eyeballs in debt and the prospect of job loss is quite overwhelming. As I sit here and write this, I have to admit, I'm scared to death...what the future holds, loss of jobs, loss of insurance, loss of a roof over our heads....I can't eat or sleep. I wish I could just shut my mind off for a few hours....and poor Phil, he is so depressed and worried. Oh well, need to get back to cleaning and getting this house ready to put on the market. Hopefully, we can get out from under it.

Turquoise Frame

Here is a frame for anyone who is interested. It will be available for 7 days. Just hover over the "Here is a frame" to get to the link.

Just Another Day In Paradise

The title is from an Eagle's song. It pretty much sums up how I feel most of the time about life in general. It speaks of trying to find something satisfying in your life and never finding it and learning to be still while waiting. Sometimes that's really hard to do, but I have learned the hard way that being still is best. God can work wonders in your life when you do. It's the waiting that's hard. Our timing is not God's timing.

Anyway, enough of that. Punkin went to the groomer today, I'm waiting on the call to come and pick her up. Dusty will be next. Maybe sometime yet this week hopefully. He seems to be feeling better and his temp is normal, so that's good. Sadie is doing great!

I'm missing my kids so much right now.

I'm going to be trying my hand at designing in the near future. I will probably start out by giving what I design away, so be watching for the links for downloads.

New Design

Well, after several days of head banging and aggravation I finally did it! I used Robyn Littlejohn's Cottage Garden kit. I think for a first try it turned out pretty good. And yes.....it's still the Cocker Spaniel Palace, they hold the headline at the top in my header and all through the blog.

On another note, Dusty is sick again. Poor little guy has a pancreas inflamation! He's not as sick as last time because I caught it a little sooner but his temp is really higher than it should be. Seems like there is always someone or something to worry about.

Sadie goes to the groomer for her spring doo, today. I've been off since Wed (on vacation) and the three of them are getting so used to me being here. Oh, how I wish sometimes it could always be like this but I know, be careful what you wish for!

Let me know your thoughts on this new design!

Cocker Spaniel Script

Bumble Bee

I was playing around again today and came up with a bumble bee. This is something I came up with on my own trying to think out of the box.

If you would like to have the png file it will be available at this link https://www.yousendit.com/transfer.php?action=batch_download&send_id=658598298&email=4c301d2b2c34046564894f3feb9fbc09

My header

Well, I've changed it again. I used an element out of one of Robyn Littlejohn's beautiful kits, it is in the corner, the butterfly is from one of her kits, too and I made the pooches smaller. I think I'm getting there. Now to figure out how to change the background to something less bland.

The weekend is upon us and it is supposed to be cold and blustery where I live. I'm so ready for spring even if it does mean sore muscles from outside work. I have so much to do this year. The house needs painting inside and out, I need to have the carpeting cleaned and hubby needs to get my office redone but he can't work on it until warmer weather. He has custom designed my office for me. I can hardly wait and he is looking forward to inheriting my furniture that I have now.

Sadie is going to the groomer next Friday to have her coat stripped of it's winter hair! I hope it warms up or she will have to wear a sweater! Punkin will go the following week with Dusty bringing up the week after that. I can usually keep them touched up but it's just getting to hard for me to give them a full groom. My back doesn't like it at all and they hate being brushed! The only thing they like brushed is their teeth...weird! Especially Dusty! He waits for his brushing every morning! What a great little guy!

The Closing

We are soon to be in the month of March and with that month's arrival a part of our lives that has been such a great source of friendship will cease to exist. I have learned so much while I have been a member of the Digital Design Den and with that said, I wanted to make a little gift for anyone who is interested to download. I have been working on this for about a week. I sat a stuffed bear in front of me and started putting shapes together. I used a fur action that I purchased from AtomiCupcake for the furry little thing.

Just PM me at the Den or send me an email if you have my address and I will send you the file download link. I think this little bear will go great with the kit all of the members have been working on these past few weeks.

Here is a preview. I put a pink bow on the preview but I will only be sending the plain bear to anyone interested.

Digital Scrapbook Place

I just added my blog to a place that is owned by a local gal. I attend her monthly scrapbook get together. Since DDD is closing I was really looking for a place that was close by where I could get to know local folks. This place has world wide members but lot's of members are close by so I think I'll hang out here. I'm going to miss all my friends at DDD but I look forward to making new friends.
I'm not sure what listing my blog at DSP is supposed to do, so I guess I'll get back over to the site and check out this particular challenge! Looking forward to this!

Nap Time

Phil and I usually get up around 5AM each and every day. We let the fur babies outside for potty time, feed them, eat our breakfast and give them their daily meds to keep them healthy. Then we sit and watch the morning news for about 15 mins. We then turn out all the lights, Punkin climbs up on Phil's lap, Sadie on mine and Dusty cuddles next to one of us and we hit the snooze button on the recliners and nap with out babies until 7AM. That usually gives us about an hour of cuddle/nap time. We then get ready for work and head in knowing that our sweet little ones will be waiting for us when we return home. It's great having somebody to come home to!

My New Header

Let me know what you think. I've been working on this for a few days. I had a computer problem with the original file but was able to pull up the jpg file that had been saved, no layers. I guess better than nothing. Anyway, I plan on changing it each month, according to the holidays, occasions or seasons. I would really value any opinions and/or critiques.

Sadie and the laptop

Our little Sadie-Bug is so funny. In the evenings, after work, I usually sit on the sofa with the laptop sitting to my side. I kinda lean over to get my email, check my bank balances and so on. The whole time Sadie is on the back of the sofa, right behind me. Once in awhile she will place a paw on top of my head, then slide down my side and sit and give the computer dirty looks. It's comical, because the computer isn't displacing her from my lap at all but with it there she doesn't have my undivided attention! I wish I could capture the look she gets on her face when she is climbing all over me, guess I'll have to crank up the ole web cam and let it run sometime. She went so far last night as to growl at the computer, then she started barking at it which caused the other two to start barking. It's a hoot!

Start of the New Year

Well, we finally made it home after what seemed like the longest trip I have ever made. The end of 2008 was horrible. Phil smashed his hand in the car door on our way home, which required a trip to a local emergency room (can't wait to get that bill), we stayed in a motel because Phil had a bad reaction to the pain meds only to be ousted by construction crews slamming and banging doors at midnight as they were coming in for the night causing our pups to bark trying to protect us. We finally gave up and left.
2009 got off to a bad start too! I had scheduled a repairman to come to the house on Jan 2nd to repair my washer. I made this appt on Dec 20. Well, he never showed up! I will never call or recommend this company to anyone ever again. I had to take off from work in order to wait for this guy who never showed up. I was just livid. Fortunately, Phil, my hubby was able to fix the washer with the parts that were ordered.
I sure hope things start going a little better this week. It will be our first week of direct deposit where I work and I'm in charge of it. I certainly hope it goes off without a hitch!
I want to get to the pictures I took while on vacation. Hopefully, in the next day or two.
I want to officially state my feelings on the Israel disturbance. The Jews are God's chosen people, anyone, nation or individual that stands against them, stands against God. While I'm saddened to see the death and destruction going on in that country, I have to pray for the Peace of Israel, but I'm reminded of scripture where it says "they will cry for peace, but there will be no peace". I know that is taken out of context and put into my own words. Anyway, that's how I feel. I just hope this country will continue to be an ally to Israel, God help us if we don't!